My previous blog mentioned the fact that women have a very distorted view of sex. For humans, sex has three main purposes: To make babies, to further the emotional connection between partners (love), and for pleasure. It's pretty obvious by reading Cosmo magazines that women have more intentions than just those three. To go more in depth about the subject, I found a Newsweek article that talked about the other sexual intentions women have. Here's just a brief list of some reasons why women have sex:
- To feel better physically ("I had a migraine")
- To feel better about themselves
- Revenge ("I wanted to get back at my partner")
- Anger/sadness/boredom/ loneliness
- A confidence booster
- Money
- Self pity or pity for the man
- To get what they want
- Power
The article began with a story about a woman feeling pity for her 25 year old friend who was still a virgin. She decided she would "show him how it's done". By sleeping with him she felt confident as his "teacher" and powerful. Ultimately, she slept with him for selfish reasons. Ya, she thinks she made him feel better, but her real reasons for sleeping with him were to feel better about herself. After she slept with him though, she probably didn't feel good. It was just a short-lived confidence booster that probably trickled into a serious relationship or marriage and caused problems. I'm sure there will be people who read this blog post that don't have the same belief system as me when it comes to sex. I believe sex should be something special shared between a man and a women after marriage, but even with that said, it's obvious that no matter what your morals are, having sex with multiple partners or even with one partner for the wrong reasons is causing problems. Since I'm a virgin and not married, when I read some of the Cosmo articles, I start thinking that maybe the only way to get a guy is to put out. Those are just fleeting thoughts that go away quickly, but I can imagine that girls actually taking the advice of these magazines are thinking along those lines. "If I buy that bra that makes my cleavage perfect, and then I get that Cover Girl make-up that makes my lips look sexy, OH and then if I memorize those bedroom tricks, than I'm SURE guys will like me. And then if I learn all those sex positions, I will be powerful and he'll know that I'm confident." Like I said, girls are taking the advice of these articles, they use these "tips" throughout life on a few men or multiple men, and then eventually they get married. They may wonder why those tips never made guys love them, or never made them feel better about themselves. Then they wonder why their marriage is failing. Instead of having sex to better their marriage, they are using it for all the wrong reasons, and feeling poorly about themselves in the process. This causes arguments. Also, how can a man feel good about sleeping with a woman that is all used up? Or that is constantly trying to overpower him with sex?
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ReplyDeleteSex. Nice topic. It's everywhere. Why is that? Because everybody is interested. Thus it is used in advertisement more than ever. Like they say, sex sells. What is it that makes sex appeal the number one marketing tactic for producers of everything from clothing to deodorant to cars to movies to beer etc? I went to my friend's house and the first thing I saw when I walked in the door was the latest issue of Cosmo- Cosmo sells because sex does. Why?
ReplyDeleteYou listed the many purposes of sex, but ultimately the attraction can be boiled own to a generally accepted definition: the physical pleasure, which is enhanced by the emotional factor, or "sacred" feel (that can be used and abused alike- and by sacred I am referring to the special/forbidden/indulgence/dirty sense of pleasure inherent to its nature).
The roll of sex in pop culture is a major one. If you plan on discussing its effect on how women feel about themselves, you may want to begin by looking at this appeal to humanity as a whole, and then specify with women- what role do women traditionally play in the household, why do women in particular feel the need to be sexually attractive, hence makeup and clothing choices etc? If you are going to take a moral stance on the use or abuse of sex in marketing, you will also need to cite where your morals come from. If you plan on discussing the pros and cons, you still will have to assume a moral angle. Discussing your aforementioned uses of sex and which ones are 'good' and which ones aren't might be a good approach.
You brought up some very valid questions that I was wondering myself, but forgot about in the process of researching self esteem. Thanks for reminding me! It makes me so angry how every aspect of pop culture is so sex driven, and I would like to know why sex sells. WHY?! Maybe it's similar to Eve being tempted by the apple in the garden? People are attracted to things that seem dirty and wrong, and feel good at the same time. Is that kind of where you were going with that? I like what you said about women and their roles in the household and as a wife. That is what I plan to research, but I was going to start with self esteem and how that affects relationships, but ya the roles in the household would definitely be a good angle as well. I definitely plan to discuss my moral standards vs. worldly ones, and I'm glad you brought that up. Thank you for all of the advice, it was very helpful!
ReplyDeleteAs you continue with your project, it may be interesting to take a look at "Stuff" or "Maxim" to get an idea of what the male versions of Cosmo are saying. How do the approaches of these magazines appeal to men? Could these magazines have a similar degrading affect on men that Cosmo has on women?
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